You don't have to be lost to find your way back to you.

I once was lost.  Figuratively speaking.  I just didn’t know it.  It took a very intentional pause to realize it.

Take a minute and reflect. Do you bounce from job to job, hobby to hobby, relationship to relationship trying to find the one that’s “just right”?  Do you feel like you can’t quite cross into the state of being “there” or “enough” or “happy”?  Are you in perpetual search mode for what “fits”?  And, maybe, you are even ready to move from success to significance and don’t exactly know what that means for you?

You might be lost in the way that I was not that long ago.  By lost, I simply mean that you are not in touch with yourself in a deep, meaningful way.  No amount of things or success feels like it fills you up and you haven’t put your finger on what will.  You may feel like you are being pulled in too many directions trying to honor what you think is important and are left unsettled when you are forced to choose between them.  Or worse, you don’t make any decisions for fear of making the wrong one.

It doesn’t have to be that way.

It occurred to me recently how not knowing who I was translated into my behavior.  I was always trying new things.  I would repeatedly take on a new hobby or side hustle only to push it aside when it didn’t deliver the peace I longed for. In a casual conversation with my dad, he mentioned that my mom worried that I would never find what I was in search of.   

I spent so much of my life focused on what I did, my achievements and the tangible results of my effort that I really didn’t know who I was or what I was all about.  I just knew I wasn’t satisfied.  So I kept doing more and more and more and more…until I burned out.  

Sitting in the rubble of my life, I wondered what was wrong with me.  Smart, successful and woefully unsatisfied.  Professionally, I was at the end of my rapidly fraying rope.  The control enthusiast in me was losing control. I could no longer excuse away the violation of my role as a mother and a wife and the career I had invested 23 years into had zero appeal to me.  I had no idea who’s version of success I was trying to measure up to, but it wasn’t mine.

Much to my surprise, I wasn’t broken.  There wasn’t anything to “fix”.  I just didn’t know who I was and I went on a mission to find out. Mom passed in 2017 and I pray she has some peace in knowing that I found it.  What I was searching for was ME.  

I am much more of a “thinker” than a “feeler”.  This made my search more difficult.  I kept trying to “figure things out” when what I really needed to do was “feel it out”. At that time, I’m pretty sure I’d volunteer for a root canal to avoid sitting with my feelings.  This is probably why it took me a little longer than it needed to.

• I learned about my values and what is most important to me - and where I was in and out of alignment with these guiding principles in my life
• I identified my triggers - the things that flipped my switch and brought forward a less-becoming version of myself
• I uncovered my default behavior when stressed and how it affected my goals and my relationships
• I understood my strengths and what it looked like when I “overused” them
• I discovered more about my weaknesses and how to minimize them

And most importantly, I learned what I wanted out of life.  I finally had a definition of success that was created BY ME, not for me. Now my life is full of abundance, joy and peace.  I am successfully self-employed and my relationships are rock solid – very happily married with a thriving family.  I know who I am and to whom I belong.  I am blessed.

If you need some help finding your way back to you, come check out my program for people just like you and me who are looking to up level some part of their life, relationships or career.  My INNER CIRCLE is an online community with tools and coaching that will help you get past what is keeping you safe and playing small.  

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