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Welcome to EXPLORING ENNEAGRAM TYPE NINE
The Mediator. The Peacemaker.
Type Nine
Receptive • Reassuring • Agreeable • Complacent
Type Nines are very receptive to their environment and downplay their own presence. They can be loving, down-to earth, modest, and trusting, or stubborn lazy, and asleep to themselves.
Let me be clear...you are more than a number. Your Enneagram coaching sessions comes with access to this very comprehensive 12-page typing guide that serves as the perfect companion for your journey in discovering your "essential self."
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Core Fear
They fear being in conflict, loveless separate, uncomfortable, unimportant, overlooked, shut out, or in an inharmonious relationship.
Core desire
They desire to have inner stability and peace of mind.
Motivations
Nines strive to have serenity, peace of mind, to create harmony in their environment, to preserve things as they are, to avoid conflicts and tension, to escape all upsetting problems, and avoid demands being placed on them.
Dislikes
They do not want to have conflicts with loved ones, to feel like they don‘t belong, are overlooked, or separated from others. They do not want to be angry, upset, or disturbed, to have their habits or routines interrupted, to be emotionally uncomfortable, or forced to face unpleasant realities.
Work style
Diplomatic
Leadership Style
Mediator
Communication Style
Peacemaking, agreeable, complacent, stubborn, saga-telling, passive (aggressive), noncommittal, receptive.
I feel valued at work when:
--> Feeling like my contribution is noticed and appreciated
--> Others see how thoughtfully I approach my work and rely on me for that
--> Feeling like my concerns are validated and understood
--> People offer constructive feedback without being confrontational
--> Being listened to & sincerely asked for advice
--> Working with people who are approachable and keep our common goal in mind
--> Not being taken advantage of when I offer help or support
Nines are kind, patient, steady, flexible, accepting, relaxed, unself-conscious, agreeable, content, comforting, and idealizing. Nines get into conflicts by being passive, resigned, stubborn, not wanting to be bothered, emotionally unavailable, complacent, unaware of their own anger, inattentive, and passive-aggressive.
At their best, Nines are awake to themselves and to life, engaged with life and others, moving in their right action and calling, dynamic, inclusive, steadfast, healing, imaginative, serene, exuberant, and passionate. They strive to be accommodating, agreeable, natural, and comfortable. More importantly, they want to be calm, peaceful, and, if at all possible, avoid conflict of any kind. They see themselves as being open-minded, unassuming, and easy-going. They want others to see them as selfless, humble, approachable, content, and bringing harmony wherever they go.
Nines get along with most people because they desire harmony, union, and connection with others. They are unassuming, gentle, and thoughtful. They bring a sense of calm and peace to any situation and make others feel comfortable. They are nonjudgmental and can see all points of view, allowing them to be very empathetic. The problem comes when they focus too much on others and forget about themselves. They merge with the thoughts, feelings, and agendas of others, which causes them to fall asleep to their own thoughts, feelings, and agenda. They fear that waking up to themselves and asserting themselves will bring conflict or distance with others. They would prefer to go along to get along.
Nines prefer to focus on similarities rather than differences. They dislike being drawn into conflicts and avoid being pressured to react. They suppress their anger and neglect their own needs in order to avoid the discomfort that comes with conflict. This can cause them to not pursue their gifts and passions in life. They may not even be able to know what they truly desire because it has been suppressed for so long. When a Nine does awaken to their passion and calling, they can accomplish a great deal in their pursuit. Nines are not likely to self-promote and would much rather others see their gifting and affirm them without asking for it. Others often underestimate Nines since Nines do not brag about their successes. People can be shocked and amazed when Nines quietly accomplish a great deal.
Your type in stress:
Goes to a type 6 in stress
- More insecure or self-doubting
- Easily defensive
- Less easygoing and more skeptical
- Can’t see the bright side; pessimistic
- Will rely on affirmation to feel social security
- Contradicts themselves
- Even more indecisive
- They lose their inner calm and their mind races with inner anxiety
From vice to virtue:
Sloth:
- A “psycho-spiritual” laziness – the state of not being in touch with the core self
- Asleep to the true essence – spend energy outside (to keep the outside world out and inside world in) rather than paying attention to the self
Right Action:
- Really refers to “right action”
- A sense of action that is ingrained in the core sense of self – total engagement with the self and a willingness to act on it
- Full commitment of the self to doing what is needed
Your tendencies when facing stress & disappointment:
Ignore it, try to find a silver lining, and if they can’t, they may turn inward and focus on their own comfort
Instead, do something that actually refuels rather than something that only helps you disconnect or zone out
How your type handles Anger:
What makes you angry: Type 9s don’t get angry often. In fact, you rarely experience or feel anger. If, and when, you get angry, your trigger is not feeling valued. Not being valued looks like being interrupted, taken advantage of, nagged, criticized or ignored. You also notice when others have been treated disrespectfully.
What’s behind your anger: Because Type 9s are in the Body Center, you are concerned with having and maintaining control and power. While other types may react to situations because of fear or shame, your type often feels anger.
How you express your anger: Type 9s seem the most calm and relaxed, but your anger is there, just stuffed down deep. You suppress your anger because you believe connection and unity will be disrupted if you express what you feel. You prefer to bottle up your anger instead of expressing it. If your anger does come out (and it may be a delayed response), it manifests itself as passive-aggressive behavior, crying, blowing up at another, a biting response or quiet resentment.
How to process your anger in a God-centered way:
- Ask God to remind you your feelings are important, and it’s healthy to express your emotions in a God-honoring way.
- Because Type 9s can “merge” so easily with others and believe the feelings of others are their own, ask God to give you clarity of mind so you can react in a God-centered way that is true to you.
- Take some time to pinpoint your triggers and be intentional to come up with a plan to work through them in advance. This might look like setting expectations for yourself and others before a potential confrontation sets in.
Additional Resources
Emotions Wheel
Stances
Coping Styles
Erika Alessandrini © Copyright 2019 Strategies for Success. All Rights Reserved.
The contents of this website are Strategies for Success’ interpretation of content learned in training or certification programming with the following:
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) coach training created by Bruce D. Schneider, Conversational Intelligence® for Coaches training by Judith E. Glaser and WBECS,
the Model by Brooke Castillo, and various other tools gathered over time and through experience.