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Welcome to EXPLORING ENNEAGRAM TYPE THREE
The Achiever. The Performer.
Type Three
Adaptable • Excelling • Driven • Image-Conscious
Threes are people who measure themselves by external achievement and the roles that they play. May be truthful, accomplished, and excel at what they do, or they can be conniving, competitive, and fake.
Let me be clear...you are more than a number. Your Enneagram coaching sessions comes with access to this very comprehensive 12-page typing guide that serves as the perfect companion for your journey in discovering your "essential self."
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Core Fear
They fear failing, being incapable, unimpressive, unable to do, to be second best, lackluster, unmasked, incompetent, inefficient, without merit, or exposed.
Core desire
They desire to feel loved, valuable, and worthwhile by simply being themselves without having to perform.
Motivations
They want to feel valuable and worthwhile, to be affirmed, to distinguish themselves, to gain the attention of others, to be admired, and to impress others.
Dislikes
Threes do not want anything that looks like failure, to sit around doing nothing, to look unprepared or awkward, to be overshadowed
by others, to be average, to ask others for help or support, or to be caught in distortions of the truth others.
Work style
Producer, Networker
Leadership Style
Motivator
Communication Style
Expedient, professional, polished, peacocking, bragging, smooth, trendy, competent or mentoring.
I feel valued at work when:
--> Given positive feedback
--> My boss trusts me to explore big new ideas and make things happen
--> I receive timely, actionable feedback
--> Others get excited with me
--> Asked to take on projects or attend important meetings
--> Receiving recognition that I've done a great job and have gotten results
--> I'm being paid well and have a title I'm proud of
Threes are generally effective, competent, adaptable, goal-oriented, ambitious, organized, diplomatic, and charming. They like to perform and are very conscious of their image. Threes tend to get into trouble by being expedient, excessively driven, competitive, self-promoting, appropriate instead of sincere, boastful, and grandiose.
At their best, however, Threes are more focused on motivating and inspiring others. They become real team players, are inner-directed, authentic, modest, humble, admirable, well-adjusted, and gracious to those around them. They strive to be competent, productive, efficient, accomplished, and impressive. They strongly desire to excel at everything they do and to look good doing it. They are ambitious, competitive, and industrious. They would like others to see them as a winner who deserves to be admired and respected. Their idealized self-image is that they are triumphant and victorious.
Threes are goal oriented. They are self-confident, ambitious, and motivated. They want to be admired by others and someone others are striving to be like. Because they are so goal-oriented, they take great pleasure in crossing tasks off their “to-do” lists after finishing them quickly and efficiently. They will even write down tasks they have already completed just for the joy of crossing them off.
Threes are able to adapt quickly to whatever role is expected of them in any given situation. They do this in order to gain prestige, admiration, and status. Maintaining a successful image and appearance is vital, so they place continuous pressure on themselves to look good, to be in-style, and to always be physically fit. They keep a smooth exterior by controlling their emotions, being efficient, and maintaining their focus on accomplishing goals.
Continuously seeking attention and admiration, they aren’t afraid to show off or promote their talents and ambitions. Since there is no room for second best, they keep trying until they reach their goal. Their high level of self-confidence, enthusiasm, and positive energy tends to rub off and motivate those around them. Always on the go and energized by starting new projects, they can achieve a great deal but are also at risk of burning out. When one goal has been accomplished, they do not take a break but simply move on to the next goal.
Your type in stress:
Goes to a type 9 in stress
- Acts very uninterested and detached
- Craves more alone time
- Doubts themselves and their abilities
- Unmotivated and will start to procrastinate
- Very stubborn
- Will take on projects they are not passionate about just to do something
- Increasingly disengaged, only putting in 50% effort
- Less intentional with friends and loved ones
From vice to virtue:
Self-Deceit:
- An over-identification with the personality or outer persona
- Believing they have to earn love by being worthy
- Being the shape shifting tendency itself
- Taking on the ideas/desires of others as their own personal identity
Veracity:
- Being nothing but who they really are without regard of what others think
- Pure authenticity
- Slowing down and acknowledging their own personal feelings – content to just “be”
Your tendencies when facing stress & disappointment:
Pack their schedule and start new projects. If that doesn’t work, they may become listless and unmotivated
Instead, pay attention to your need for rest, it’s okay to feel stressed and need a break
How your type handles Anger:
What makes you angry: You cannot stand anything that slows you down or anyone who fails to acknowledge your hard work. As a Type 3, you are especially sensitive to inefficiency, a lack of control and time wasting.
What’s behind your anger: Because Type 3s are in the Heart Center, you’re concerned with having and maintaining esteem and affection. Before you get angry, you’re more likely to feel shame. Type 3s cannot stand not being able to control outcomes, not meeting your own expectations and not rising up to all the “shoulds” your inner critic (and others) throw at you. Your shame motivates you to look successful at all times, and when you don’t, your shame turns to anger.
How you express your anger: You push down your anger because you want to look good and it seems shameful to lose your cool in public (and “public” can mean one other person not seeing you at your best). If your feelings simmer over into a direct expression of anger, it can take the form of yelling or passive-aggressive behavior, but mostly yelling. Type 3s can run a little bit hot!
How to process your anger in a God-centered way:
- If your anger stem from people “getting in your way” from accomplishing tasks, ask God to give you eyes to see people as He sees them. If your anger stems from inefficiency, ask God to remind you that your identity is not found in what you achieve but in who God says you are: loved and valued.
- Spend time in solitude and ask God to show you how He sees you.
- Think through where your shame comes from: not being able to meet expectations, feeling trapped by ”shoulds,” or lacking control of an outcome. Ask God to help you apply His Word to your situation.
Additional Resources
Emotions Wheel
Stances
Coping Styles
Erika Alessandrini © Copyright 2019 Strategies for Success. All Rights Reserved.
The contents of this website are Strategies for Success’ interpretation of content learned in training or certification programming with the following:
Institute for Professional Excellence in Coaching (iPEC) coach training created by Bruce D. Schneider, Conversational Intelligence® for Coaches training by Judith E. Glaser and WBECS,
the Model by Brooke Castillo, and various other tools gathered over time and through experience.